Patricia Evans, author of "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" explains abuse victims don't realize that the problem isn't theirs.: it's in the abuser's need to dominate and control.
Hallmarks of verbal abuse:
- It's hostile.
- It's unpredictible.
- It's manipulative and controlling.
- It happens when no one else is around.
- The victim feels confused and surprised.
- The words are hurtful.
What can you do? Respond with;
Stop it! or Don't talk to me like that.
Don't defend or explain, the abuser is not interested in understanding you, just control you.
- Listen to your feelings and believe them.
- Remove yourself if you assess the situation as dangerous.
- Verbal abuse is a doorway to physical abuse, so take steps to be safe.
- Get support through a therapist and/or support group.
- Seek information.
When you calmly stand up for yourself and refuse to be goaded into defending or explaining, the abuser typically gives up. We can help!!!!