Klaybor and Klaybor Psychotherapy Services--Blog

Sleep Hygiene Instructions

2012-02-16T17:58:00.000-06:00

Many people suffer from insomnia. Sleep studies, sleep apnea, restless leg syndrome, nocturnal awakenings, trouble falling asleep and shutting off your mind are common problems made worse by stress and anxiety. Good sleep hygiene can help regain a positive sleeping pattern so you can awaken in the morning reseted and ready to tackle the day. Here are some instructions or tips:

Avoid going to bed until you are drowsy.
Maintain a consistent time of going to bed including weekends.
Limit napping.
Avoid all caffeine after noon.
Avoid nicotine and alcohol in the evening.
Avoid exercising in the late evening.
Limit fluids 4-6 hours before bedtime.
Be sure your bedroom is dark, quiet and well ventilated.
Turn you clock so you can't see the time should you awaken.
Don't turn on lights if possible.
Turn off televisions or activities that engage your brain. (like work)
Listen to soothing music.
Plan a pleasant dream to have.
Focus on some past memories of sleeping well.
Do some mental rehearsal of seeing yourself sleeping.
Learn some stress management.
Use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to reframe negative or anxious thought.
Create a "sleep zone" where you feel safe, secure and calm.

Of course, always check with your doctor to see if you have some disorder that requires medication. This may be the first step to getting your sleep going. Pleasant dreams!!!!

EMDR for Anxiety, Panic and Trauma

2012-02-12T20:16:00.000-06:00

If you suffer from panic attacks, trauma or severe anxiety, EMDR may be for you. What is it? It's all in the eye movements.

EMDR incorporates elements of cognitive-behavioral therapy with bilateral eye movements or other forms of rhythmic, left- right stimulation. One of the key elements of EMDR is “dual stimulation.” During treatment, you are asked to think or talk about memories, triggers, and painful emotions while simultaneously focusing on your therapist’s moving finger or another form of bilateral stimuli. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is an integrative psychotherapy approach that has been extensively researched and proven effective for the treatment of trauma. EMDR involves recalling a stressful past event and “reprogramming” the memory in the light of a positive, self-chosen belief, while using rapid eye movements to facilitate the process. In a typical EMDR therapy session, you focus on traumatic memories and associated negative emotions and beliefs while tracking your therapist’s moving finger with your eyes as it moves back and forth across your field of vision.

This enables you to access positive ways of reframing the original trauma (reprocessing), and to release the body’s stored negative emotional charges around it (desensitization).The memory is still there, but it is less upsetting. Experts are still unsure how it works, but anecdotally, the reports are very favorable.

EMDR therapy appears to directly affect the brain, “unfreezing” the traumatic memories, allowing you to resolve them. Over time the disturbing memory and associated beliefs, feelings, sensations become “digested” or worked through until you are able to think about the event without reliving it. The process is somewhat similar to Rapid Eye Movements (REM) activity by reactivating the brain via cognitive reorganizing allowing the painful, negative emotions to give way to more resolve, empowering feelings.

So, What Do You Do If You Have Chronic Pain?

2012-01-22T09:56:00.001-06:00

Chronic pain is defined by its length (more than six months) and its resistance to conventional therapies. Acute pain is defined as 30 days or less. If you have chronic pain, there is help. Chronic pain syndrome is not the same as acute pain or recurrent acute pain. Acute pain is due to actual or pending tissue damage. Its duration is short and its psychosocial consequences are minimal. A person's perception of acute pain and behavior following the onset of acute pain are commensurate with the inciting event. Acute pain resolves as healing occurs.
This presentation might be helpful in understanding the way pain mechanisms work in the brain.

Working in conjunction with your physician is the best way to manage your pain. Once pain sets in for an extended period of time, the brain loses its equilibrium. People with chronic pain, a front region of the cortex mostly associated with emotion "never shuts up," Techniques like hypnosis, biofeedback, meditation, mental imagery and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) help quit the brain and retrain it. Take a look at this presentation for an overview of how these pain mechanisms work and can be altered.

Pain as a mechanism, Pain as a metaphor. on Prezi

Quitting Smoking This Year? Follow along the presentation.

2012-01-21T21:44:00.000-06:00

How to Quit Smoking--Just Follow Along on Prezi

With the right tools and approach, your chances of quitting smoking and staying quit are very much enhanced.

Do You Have FDD? (Fun Deficit Disorder)

2012-01-20T08:55:00.000-06:00

I believe there is an invisible epidemic of FDD in our culture. No doubt our society is a hard working, creative and productive lot. However, why do we rank so low in time off for vacations in all of the industrialized nations? Did you know we rank the lowest? Pretty scary to me. This not only creates a Fun Deficit Disorder, it may lead to LDD or Life Deficit Disorder. Production, achievement and hard work is a good thing, but at what cost? Since we are at the start of a new year, it would be a good time to plan out some "Bucket List" adventures before it is too late. If you define yourself by how busy you are, you will never have time for life. What is going to matter in the end is not how booked up you were, or the tally of tasks and reports you handled, but the experiences that let you know that the living you made yourself was actualized by creating wonderful memories. Psychologist Erik Erikson put it this way, "when you look back you'll want to know, did I get what I came for? What it a good time? Did I do what I wanted?"
It may be time to reclaim "time" to have the energy you need to nurture yourself and live fully. Simple put, how is your life balance?

Adventure?
Down time
New experiences?
Social time and activity?
Creative moments?
Family time?
Marital enrichment?
Physical development?

Are you having enough fun?Maybe, just maybe this graph on the left shows why people in other countries are happier and have more fun. They take time for it.

(Graph from Sociology 101 Website)

Overcoming Test Anxiety

2012-01-09T12:32:00.000-06:00

If your are frustrated or debilitated by test anxiety, you might feel helpless to overcome it, but that is just not true. By making use of proven relaxation techniques, you can develop tools to increase relaxation, focus, concentration, confidence and control over your anxiety. Like any stressful or pressured performance situation, learning to manage or eliminate anxiety is the key to achievement. With the right help and guidance, this is a very fixable problem.
Specific techniques for test anxiety before or during a test include:

Cognitive strategies (thought stopping and reframing)
Physical and mental relaxation
Mental rehearsal
Self-soothing strategies
Biofeedback
Deep breathing

Test anxiety is learned behavior. The association of grades and personal worth also causes anxiety. These feelings usually are derived from a variety of sources including a feeling of lack of control, poor preparation, downright fear, bad study habits, procrastination, low self-esteem and of course poor test review strategies.

You don't have to suffer from test anxiety. Help is available if you get the right perspective and skills to help you manage the symptoms by learning the tools involved in achievement and performance.

2012-01-08T13:25:00.000-06:00

This is Melissa Cook, Licensed Professional Counselor, friend and colleague signing her newly published book, The Power of Validation. Karyn Hall, Ph.D. is the coauthor. The book provides an overview of how to raise an emotionally stable, confident and self-reliant children.

Melissa describes validation as the "recognition and acceptance that your child has feelings and thoughts that are true and real to them regardless of logic or whether it makes sense to anyone else."

Why not check out the book to find ways to develop your personal awareness of your validating and invalidating communication style in your family?

In particular, The Power of Validation gives you wonderful tips on being a validating parent. In Chapter 5, Melissa describes 6 different levels of validation. These are great tips to provide guidelines on derived from Marsha Linehan (1997) which demonstrate the different types of validation. You will get a real feel of being a "mindful" parent offering opportunities for harmony and competence as a parent. The book is chock full of ideas, exercises and opportunities to fine tune your parenting skills.

Time to Take Stock and Be Honest with Yourself

2011-12-30T19:20:00.000-06:00

In USA Today, Paul Wilkes has a column about how to be honest with yourself in the New Year. Here are some of his ideas.

Most of us are creatures of habit. One objective is to find and reinforce those habits that enrich our well-being and find and eventually put aside those that are not in alignment with who we really are. Examine your intentions and take responsibility for your own happiness. If you find yourself blaming others for your problems or unhappiness, it may be time to look in the mirror. Take control and responsibility for your happiness. Remember, happiness isn't the goal, it is the result of a life with meaning, engagement, and pleasure. Joy is just around the corner.

Some possible questions to ask yourself:

What did I do that made me happiest?
Who makes me feel good about myself when I am with them?
Where did I feel ashamed of myself?
What action would I do over again and how?
What do I look forward to?
What are my personal and/or professional goals for 2012?
What moves me to action?
What habits or tendencies worked for or against me?
When did I feel most in alignment with what is best in me?
Do I need to make amends with anyone?
What am I doing that creates meaning in my life?

Try this simple form of self-reflection tonight. See where this reflection leads you. Share your thoughts with a best friend or partner to make it real. It just may be time to take action on being and trusting yourself.

You Have a Green Light

2011-12-20T10:57:00.000-06:00

2012 Has Promise, but Only If You Take Action!

One of my favorite sayings is, "Love is action, love is a verb, not a noun." This means loving others, loving yourself, loving your work, family and interests. If you view love as a passive or a noun, not much will happen or change in your life.

With the passing of Steve Jobs, much has been written about his positive and negative traits, but there is no controversy about his brilliance and pursuit of perfection.

Steve Jobs learned early that when you don't like how things are in your life or world, change them, either through action or sheer force of will. Some basic beliefs recently printed published in his new book about his philosophy includes the tenants listed below. As you review them, imagine your own life and current circumstances and see how you measure up. It may be time to adopt some of these principles to have a better life in 2012. Look for new ways to create a more fulfilling life. So, Steve Jobs believed in the following:

Make your own reality
Control everything you can
Own your mistakes
Don't wait
Know yourself
Don't hold back
Surround yourself with brilliance
Build a support team
Be yourself
Be persuasive
Show others the way
Trust your instincts
Take risks
Follow great with great
Make tough decisions
Find balance
Live for today
Share your wisdom

Many things are possible, if you can let go of fear.

Creating Positive Memories During the Holidays

2011-12-15T10:52:00.000-06:00

It is that time again for wrapping up work and presents. Taking stock of your life goals, achievements, accomplishment and feelings of gratitude or happiness usually happen around the holidays and new year. Be sure to make time for important friends or family by engaging in rituals that provide a sense of meaning to you. Holidays can go from shear panic or feeling overwhelmed to deep comforting memories from your childhood. If you had an intact family with great holiday experiences, this time of year can be grand. If you did not, the holiday time can be dread.

It may be time to reevaluate your perspective about Christmas, New Years and make a shift to create positive memories with new rituals that either enhance your life or create new rituals that help you take charge rewiring your brain and experiences around the holidays. It can be as simple as inviting friends over, to volunteering at a church or shelter or calling family members to wish them a great holiday. This past weekend, we attended the "Lights in the Heights" annual event. Houses are elaborately decorated, bands play, choirs gathered, and thousands of people come out to view the beautifully decorated holiday homes. Private parties were held and people gathered to share food and great conversation. Our friends, Beth and Walter have an annual party at their home with great food and guests. We feel blessed and gratitude to be able to have these times, connections and participate in the festivities. Look around or create some wonderful new memories for yourself.

Love is a Verb!!!

2011-11-04T10:46:00.000-05:00

What is the difference between love as a noun or verb? Essentially, the words "I love you" without support, action and visible or tangible evidence is empty love. Understanding the love language of your partner helps make sure you are on the right frequency or channel to ensure your partner feels loved. Think of a discuss about love as preventive maintenance for the relationship.

Dr. Gary Chapman, has published a book, "The 5 Love Languages". Take a moment to review the 5 Love Languages listed below for yourself. Then, plan to have a discussion with your partner to explore their feelings and ideas about the following quite universal and comprehensive concepts about love. First of all, decide which love language is the one you seek or need the most. Ask yourself, how you show love from this list below. Then, as a quality check, get with your partner to share your thoughts, ideas and feelings about the "right" love language for you. The 5 are:

Words of affirmation
Quality time
Receiving gifts
Acts of service
Physical touch

Reading the book will help you understand and define how to enhance love in your life, romance and intimacy. Communicating about what works for you can lead to greater fulfillment and loving action.

We are truly international!!!

2011-10-23T19:30:00.000-05:00

I was very excited to see the reach of our blog posts throughout the world. Because of the wonderful features of Google Analytics, we are able to track the number of visits to the blog and the country or origin of the views. The graphic to the right, is shows the variety of country visits. What a delight to see how far we are reaching. 9 different countries plus the US. Take a look for yourself.

CDC: Antidepressant use skyrockets 400% in the past 20 years

2011-10-20T13:00:00.000-05:00

Janice Lloyd posted an article in USA Today that the "use of antidepressant drugs has soared nearly 400% since 1988, making the medication the most frequently used by people ages 18-44. This report comes from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The spike in use of anitdepressant medication has mental health professionals speculating about the reasons and possible explanations. Some cited include:

the economy
layoffs
home foreclosures
ad campaigns by pharmaceutical companies

Treatment for clinical depression requires a thorough evaluation by a qualified mental health professional. Some common symptoms include physical, behavioral and emotional components.

Physical Symptoms:

sleep disturbance,
changes in appetite,
decreased energy and fatigue,
headaches,
digestive problems,

Behavioral Symptoms:

loss of pleasure and interest in activities,
difficulty remembering, concentrating
problems making decisions,
persistent empty mood, crying "for no reason",

Emotional Symptoms:

feeling hopeless,
guilty,
worthless,
irritable, anxious or agitated and

Lastly, if you are having thoughts of death or suicide, call for an appointment to see a therapist or psychiatrist immediately.

We can help get you to the right treatment, so call if these symptoms and feelings are present in your life. Antidepressants and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy are very effective in treating depression.

Are you listening to your internal GPS?

2011-10-20T10:24:00.000-05:00

It may be time for you to consider if you are paying attention to your internal guidance system, meaning your feelings, to determine if you are on the right track with your life goals, relationships and purpose. It is too easy to "think" about what is right rather than "feel" what is right. If you are on the right path, doors open, good things happen, and the fun or pleasure of the journey is positive and self-reinforcing. If you are on the wrong path, the experience is quite different. You may feel stunted, blocked, unhappy, anxious or even depressed. So, what do you do?

What you do is pay attention to your inner compass and GPS. Through experience and engagement, you will know what is right for you and is working. The GPS will readily remind you that something isn't right when you get the message, "recalculating."

Take time to examine your definitions of fun, success, personal or professional strengths and proceed accordingly. Consider if your work truly fulfills you. Are you having enough fun in your life? How are your primary relationships going? With loss of intimacy, ongoing conflict or problems, you may be ignoring your inner GPS telling you to change direction. Remember that you can't changes someone else or make them responsible for your happiness. However, if you change and take responsibility for a new direction, then you are in control and can take charge of your destiny. Your feelings are your navigational compass. Are you listening? Do you need to change direction? Self-exploration is a great way to find out. Join a group, take a class, stretch yourself, learn something new, get more social and above all, "change before you have to."

Optimistic Women Live Longer

2011-10-10T10:47:00.000-05:00

To quote from a spokesperson from the British Hearth Foundation on BBC News: "Women who are optimistic have a lower risk of heart disease and death, an American study shows."

The research on nearly 100,000 women, published in the journal Circulation, found pessimists had higher blood pressure and cholesterol.The latest study by US investigators mirrors the findings of earlier work by a Dutch team showing optimism reduces heart risk in men. Even taking these risk factors into account, attitude alone altered risks.

Optimistic women had a 9% lower risk of developing heart disease and a 14% lower risk of dying from any cause after more than eight years of follow-up.
In the study, the optimistic women exercised more and were leaner than pessimistic peers. In comparison, cynical women who harboured hostile thoughts about others or were generally mistrusting of others were 16% more likely to die over the same time-scale.One possibility is that optimists are better at coping with adversity, and might, for example take better care of themselves when they do fall ill.
The bottom line: "Making healthy choices such as not smoking and eating well, will have much more of an impact on your heart health than your outlook."
How optimistic are you? Unsure? Want to learn about optimism? Take a look at Martin Seligman's Books, "Learned Optimism" or "Flourish" for some tips. Optimism, good choices and exercise can make a difference. Why take a chance?

Progressive Muscle Relaxation Podcast

2011-10-03T18:34:00.000-05:00

This podcast is designed to help you relax. Just sit back in a chair or lie down, close your eyes and follow along. This exercise is called, Progressive Muscle Relaxation. The concept is to relax all of your muscles from the top of your head to your toes in a progressive manner. Tensing your muscle groups for ten seconds, then relaxing them, finally a cleansing breath. The exercise can be completed in 5-10 minutes.

You can listen to the Podcast and follow along.

Time to relax.......

The Brain, Obesity, Blood Sugar and Thinking

2011-09-25T17:35:00.002-05:00

In USA Today, an article by Randy Dotinga, Healthday reported on a new study that links low blood sugar in obese people to a great desire within the brain for high-calorie foods, a finding that offers insight into why people whom become overweight tend to stay that way.
The researchers found that the obese people had less brain activity in the area known as the prefrontal cortex, where powers of inhibition (choosing not to do things) are based, even when their blood sugar levels were normal. "That implies that obese people may have a harder time fighting off the urge to eat, especially when their sugar levels are below normal," Page said. The pre frontal cortex (PRC) is the thinking part of our brain that makes up our cognition. So, what you think, you become. This is why Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is the most popular and effective form of treatment for many disorders. If you can change your thinking about something, you change your feeling and subsequently your actions. In practical terms, if you decide that eating a second helping, cleaning your plate, having that desert, then your will do so. However, it you "think" the aforementioned items are unnecessary or hurtful to you, then you will make another choice. Of course, keep an eye on your blood sugar levels!
Shakespeare really captured CBT quite accurately when he said. "nothing is either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." At Klaybor and Klaybor, we specialize in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

Life is too short....

2011-09-22T14:03:00.000-05:00

I received this coffee mug recently. The message is worth considering for you own life. Are you spending your time trying to fit in? Do you spend too much time seeking approval. It may be time to step out, have an adventure, take some risks, have more fun and just live free.

On a trip to a conference a few years back, I found a T-Shirt that I bought that said, "Women who behave rarely make history." Why not make some of your own history to create memories by trying some new things.

Take up a new sport, enroll in a class, get a personal trainer or coach, take a trip volunteer in a cause meaningful to you. The APA formula for happiness is as follows: Meaning + Engagement + Pleasure = Happiness. Go for it!

On the Precipice of Being Laid Off?

2011-09-08T09:06:00.000-05:00

With these very uncertain times with the financial markets, job loss and economy, rumors of layoffs, downsizing, and corporate belt tightening, stress, emotional confusion and anxiety are common. If you are feeling these fears and having these worries, it is normal and expected. (Photo by Bill Varie/Corbis)

In a recent article in Time Magazine, there was a report by researchers at a recent conference at the University of Cambridge heard data suggesting the following: compared with people who are straight-up laid off, those who keep their job but are under a constant threat of losing it suffer a greater decline in mental well-being.

Brendan Burchell, a Cambridge sociologist, presented his analysis based on various surveys conducted across Europe. The data suggest that employed people who feel insecure in their job display similar levels of anxiety and depression as those who are unemployed. But whereas a newly jobless person's mental health may "bottom out" after about six months, and then even begin to improve, the mental state of people who are perpetually worried about losing their job "just continues to deteriorate, getting worse and worse," Burchell says.

"Presently we are going through a 'shock' period." But in a year, Burchell says, the people who have had to endure the ongoing threat of being fired — and deal with the frustration of not being able to plan for their future or feel in control of their life — may begin to suffer severe symptoms of anxiety and depression, such as insomnia, substance abuse and lethargy.

But in the words of Vince Lombardi, one of the most successful coaches in history, "It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up." You can do this. Just hang in there and keep your head in the game, and when you do get back up, you're going to be better than ever.

If you are having feelings of depression, anxiety, it may be time to seek help.

Parking at Sage Plaza

2011-09-01T17:03:00.000-05:00

Just in news flash. Parking when you come to our office should be easier. After you go through the security checkpoint, immediately to the left is a bank of parking spaces for a 2 hour limit. Use these spaces anytime you come for an appointment.

Happy Days!!!! Parking is now easier at the Klaybors!!!!

Directions Can Be Difficult Sometimes

2011-08-25T15:56:00.000-05:00

Do you have a good sense of direction? Do you know when you are in the right lane.........for you? Perhaps, you can use this photo to help you think whether you need to step on it to put yourself in a faster lane, change lanes to stabilize yourself or exit to take a timeout and regroup. Metaphorically speaking, consider your current job, career, friends, support systems, family and self-image. Are you getting passed by at work? Is your love behind you? Do you need to exit and find a new route?

How to Enhance Your Relationship with Fondness and Admiration

2011-08-25T14:50:00.000-05:00

There are some really solid ideas and strategies in the research that help create and/or maintain a good relationship. John Gottman, Ph.D. is one of the premier researchers that brings practical solutions to help couples understand the "how" of creating a relationship that works. One of his ideas is to "create a culture of praise." This positive and loving culture happens when you work to increase positive sentiment, make contributions or deposits to your emotional bank account. These contributions reduce stress, increase intimacy and gives a buffer when times are difficult. Dr. Gottman postulates that a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative comments and interaction is a standard for building this culture of praise. What is your "Positivity Ratio?" It may be time to tune up your appreciation by expressing gratitude, fondness and admiration to your partner, child, parent or friend.

So what about Fondness and Admiration?

“Fondness and Admiration” is about honoring and respecting your Spouse’s contributions to the relationship. It's about remembering what he/she contributes to the Family relationship, careers, success, and happiness.
Fondness and Admiration help us to recall the things that attracted us to our partner – to remember the things that we admired about him/her that lead to committing your life to him/her.
Fondness and Admiration need to be updated and refreshed by new experiences. Adding the new experiences to your old Fondness and Admiration memories serves to enrich the marital relationship.

Today, begin giving praise or validation to a spouse, child or co-worker to begin to build positive sentiment. It is also imperative that you acknowledge compliments when they come your way. If you do so, research shows you will be happier. Why not give it a try?

Cultivating Mindfulness

2011-08-19T08:43:00.000-05:00

Mindfulness is the simple practice of bringing awareness and acceptance to our moment to moment experience. Acceptance implies openness and receptivity to ourselves and the moment as it unfolds. By cultivating awareness and acceptance we strengthen our ability to be present and responsive to both the pleasant and challenging circumstances of our life.

To cultivate mindfulness is by bringing attention to breath. The breath is the literal mind/body connection. Breath is an anchor, helping us to return to the moment whenever we realize we are drifting. As your thoughts begin drifting to fear, anxiety, and pain, you are catapulted into another time and place. Breath can bring you back. Practices of meditation, yoga, tai chi, gi gong help you stay present and connected.

Jon Kabat-Zinn has published a great deal about mindfulness. His books, "Full Catastrophe Living", and "Wherever You Go There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life", can help you find your way to mindfulness. In fact, he has created a system called MBSR or Mindful Based Stress Reduction to help you find peace in even the most difficult life experiences.

So, I you need scientific proof. Well, this brain scan shows changes in the brain that occur with meditation. Meditation improved immune responsiveness, increases blood flow to the frontal lobes which increases antibody titer to external challenges. Mindfulness helps clear the mind of clutter, allows you to relax and recharge.

Stay Interview Questions--How to Keep Employees by Understanding Them

2011-08-12T11:54:00.000-05:00

Do you wonder why an employee "stays" with your organization. How about asking yourself, "why do I stay"? It seems that there is a gap in communication or understanding with what is going on with an employee until he/she announces their resignation or intent to leave their job. Typically an exit interview is given by the Human Resources Department to gain some insight. Why not be proactive and ask yourself or employees the following questions to help gain insight into their current state of motivation, and morale? This could make a big difference in turnover, job dissatisfaction, absenteeism, presenteeism and attitude on the job.

If you reach that fork in the road, or if you suspect an employee is unhappy, these questions might help you discover what would help with keeping an employee or keeping yourself happy, productive and a great team member.

1. Why do you stay with us?

2. What is it that keeps you here?

3. What might entice you away?

4. What are the things you like about your work?

5. What do you like best/least?

6. Are we fully utilizing your talents?

7. What makes for a great day at work?

8. What is it that keeps you motivated?

9. What is something new you would like to learn this year?

10. What can we do differently to best assist you?

11. Is there anything you’d like to change about your job?

12. Are there things you would like to change about your team or department?

13. Has something caused you to consider leaving? Has it been resolved?

14. What’s your dream job, and what can we do to support your progress toward it?

15. What is one thing that would make your job more satisfying and rewarding?

16. Do you feel supported in your career goals?

17. Do you feel we recognize you?

18. What kind of recognition would be meaningful for you?

Feel free to add you own questions. It might be useful to actually let your manager or supervisor know you better by letting them in on the answer to these questions.

Job Hunting Tips

2011-07-17T18:10:00.000-05:00

There are basics to consider when you are on the hunt for a job. Ellen Gordon Reeves, author of Can I Wear My Nose Ring to the Interview suggests the following 7 considerations. See if you are on track with these ideas.

What is your time line? How long can you afford to look?
Do you know what you really want to do? List 3 skills you enjoy using three task you don't like and three companies you are interested in.
Do you have a 30 second pitch? Be ready with a sound bite describing what you are looking for.Do you have supporting materials? You need a business card, resume, cover letter tailored to the job and a social media presence.
Do you look ready to work? New clothes and a haircut are good starters.
Do you have a job hunting space? A library, coffee shop, office where you can talk, write and do your job search.
Who is in your network? List your best resources, friends, former colleagues, and professional contacts that can help.

Then, practice your pitch with friends or family.

Good luck!!!!

ADHD and Secondhand Smoke

2011-07-17T17:54:00.000-05:00

Another article on problems associated with smoking showed up in an article by Randy Dotinga of Healthday in USA Today.

For their study, published online July 11 in the journal Pediatrics, researchers examined the results of a 2007 U.S. telephone survey of families that included 55,358 children under the age of 12. Six percent of them were exposed to secondhand smoke in the home.

"Children exposed to secondhand smoke in their homes face a higher risk of developing attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, other behavioral problems and learning disorders, a new study finds."

After adjusting their numbers to improve their validity from a statistical point of view, the researchers found that about 8 percent of the kids had learning disabilities, 6 percent had attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, and almost 4 percent had behavioral and conduct disorders, such as oppositional defiant disorder.

So, here is another reason not to smoke. Save yourself and your children from extra problems in life.

Link to the entire article.

Untapped Powers of the Mind with Hypnosis

2011-06-29T08:50:00.001-05:00

"Hypnosis has been called 'believed in imagination.' It's a form of highly focused attention," said Dr. David Spiegel, a psychiatrist at Stanford University. "You control what you focus on and what effect it has on you and your body." You can learn to become a traffic director of your own thoughts.

Deep mental focus has been credited with helping free divers hold their breath for up to eight minutes and for getting women through childbirth without pain. In 1961, a hypnotized woman had a Cesarean section without anesthetics. "We hear all the time about the incredible ways in which monks and yogis are able to rewire their brains through intense practice," said Anne Harrington, who wrote "The Cure Within." "Maybe one important thing we should be doing more of is trying to discover the extraordinary in our own world."

A little while back, the Good Morning American morning show, Dr Speigel hypnotized Diane Sawyer as they explored the use of hypnosis for a variety of medical and emotional problems. Pain control, stress, phobias, smoking cessation, childbirth can be helped with hypnosis. If you want to explore how to tap the power of your mind with hypnosis for any personal problem or reason, we can help.

Take a moment to watch this video of Diane Sawyer discussing hypnosis with Dr. Speigel.
http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=4345359

Building Confidence Means Overcoming Fear

2011-06-21T09:58:00.000-05:00

One of my favorite quotes comes from Dune, the book by Frank Herbert. It goes like this.

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain. "
To overcome fear, you must begin by facing the problems and patterns keep you stuck.

Without self-confidence, we have a tendency to make poor decisions or not make decisions. We make choices based on fear instead of what is best for us. If you lack confidence, you might fill your life with self-destructive behavior, isolate yourself, cease to take risks or even seek joy, happiness or relationships.

One important distinction I want to make is that, confidence is the idea that I can do something. Self-Esteem is how I feel about the activity. You may win a race, get an award but put yourself down for not doing better. This hurts both confidence and self-esteem.

So, some tips for confidence building.:
Quit dwelling on fear or failures.
Mentally rehearse or visualize positive outcomes.
Reframe your thoughts to think positively.
Learn optimism and positive thinking.
No more "buts.....
Face your fears.
Get a therapist to help you work through your fears.
Spend time with confident people.
Read about self-esteem building.
Create a positive self-fulifilling prophecy.
Ultimately, the way out of fear is through it. Once faced, fear will dissolve. Embrace confidence building thoughts and activities, then affirm yourself to create a new imprint of success, self-confidence and enhanced self-esteem.

Rewiring Your Brain

2011-06-15T15:14:00.000-05:00

In the past, we have presented ideas about "Neuroplascitity" or how to rewire you brain. Dan Siegel, author of Mind Sight discusses ways to create new circuits in your brain to change your experience. This process can work for you or against you. For example, if you are constantly worried, focusing on pain, fear and failure, you are actually strengthening those brain circuits. The good news is that the inverse is also true. Once you engage positive thoughts, your imagination, confidence building or positive images, you "wire" these events also. Once you channel your thoughts and energy in a different direction, your body responds. Since your body follows your mind, why not give it a sense of peace, calm and comfort. Reassuring yourself will help wiring together these new thoughts, feelings and images.

This slide from Dr. Siegel shows this very succinctly how this process work. To put this into practice, spend a few minutes each day on gratitude, self-esteeming building thoughts or actions, and imprint your brain with these concepts.

This concept is working from the inside to impact your brain to inspire change and imprint these new concepts.

Procrastination

2011-05-21T18:04:00.000-05:00

Are you plagued by feeling overwhelmed by too much to do? Do you put things off until the last minute?
Well, you are not alone. About 20% of the population are classified as procrastinators. The causes or reasons are many.
To name a few, fear of failure, feeling unsure, inability to prioritize, perfectionism, and even fear of success.
Procrastination is learned. Which means, you can "unlearn" it.

Procrastination leads to:

wasted time
missed opportunities
poor performance
self-depreciation
increased stress

So, focus on overcoming procrastination. This will give you peace of mind, empower you, help you take charge of your life, increase feelings of confidence, being strong and capable.

Deprocrastination: Begin by getting yourself organized, plan to take charge of your time, make the process interesting, be playful, use positive self-talk, reframe your thoughts to make it a positive experience. Nike said it well, "just do it."

Stress Busters

2011-05-19T15:52:00.000-05:00

So, what is stress doing to you? What are you doing to manage it? Of course, there are positive ways to manage stress and negative ways. First, you have to eliminate the negative or destructive influences on your health. Then, proceeding with the Positive Psychology approach of building on strengths, getting balance in your life with sleep, exercise and fun is a good beginning. It is important to get the positive thoughts flowing for a self-esteem building inner dialogue. Take a moment to review this brief video of Stress Busters that was recorded on May 17th, 2011 on the Great Day Houston morning program with Debra Duncan.

If you have any questions or want to get started on rewiring your brain, give us a call.

Signs your relationship is in trouble

2011-04-28T10:21:00.000-05:00

Most couples end up in divorce court because they wait until it is too late to get the help needed to save their marriage. Not dealing with marital problems can mean a build up of resentment; hurt feelings and can cause one spouse to emotionally detach from the other. Below are six signs that you may have waited too long to save your marriage.

1. You Often Dream About a Life Without Your Spouse

2. The Bad in The Marriage Outweighs The Good

3. You Keep Things to Yourself

4. Your Defense Mechanisms May be Setting You Up For Trouble the kiss of death for a marriage.

5. You Feel Like You are The Only One Trying to Solve Problems

6. You Rarely, if Ever Have Sex

are often defensive
dream about a life without your spouse
bad outweighs the good
keep things to yourself
feel alone in the marriage
rarely, if ever have sex
don’t feel desired or wanted
there is no fun or humor
don’t do things together
work to avoid going home
fantasy about other relationships are common.

If these signs are showing up in your life, it may be time for some relationship counseling.

Divorce Checklist

2011-04-28T10:11:00.000-05:00

In the event that your marriage is moving toward an ending, there are several things to consider which you will have to consider. Most of these topics are not pleasant to consider, but will need to be addressed.

Choosing a lawyer to represent you. Essentially, you can have an uncontested divorce, collaborative divorce or one that is contested and will require mediation. The wrong lawyer or type of sentiment you have about the divorce can lead to increased costs, conflict, loss of marital assets and even greater problems during the divorce process. Choose your lawyer with caution. Make sure your strategies are aligned. You need to be comfortable with the following:
1) Does the lawyer have the experience and knowledge of custody issues, specialize in family law, have courtroom experience?
2) Do you have rapport with your lawyer?
3) Do you feel comfortable with your lawyer?
4) Is your lawyer responsive to your questions and calls in a timely manner?
5) Do you sense your lawyer is on your side and will protect you both legally and emotionally?
6) What is the reputation of your lawyer? Do you like what they stand for?
7) Do you agree upon their strategy and focus?
8) Does your lawyer exude confidence?
9) Are the legal fees reasonable? Do you have a written agreement?

Even with the best of circumstances, a divorce can be extremely stressful and painful. Remember, your choice of lawyer should be a part of your solution, not a part of the problem. You owe it to yourself to choose carefully and to choose the best lawyer for you.

Soar in Your Career

2011-04-27T15:31:00.000-05:00

In this month's issue of Money Magazine, there is a great article about the elements associated with getting a career on a uphill swing. To build momentum, the author of the article, Elaine Pofeldt suggests the following: 1) participate in companywide committees and activities to make contacts in target departments, 2) check with HR regarding job postings, 3) get to know an HR representative so you have an advocate, 4) cultivate support seeking advice from mentors or key people in the organization, 5) hone your soft skills, 5) demonstrate leadership skills by taking initiative, and capitalizing on change. Lastly, you may need to recast your role in the organization. By volunteering for projects, going on the offensive with ambition, you will increase your visibility with key leadership and begin laying the groundwork for a promotion.

Top managers are recognizing a talent gap when it comes to certain skills them deem important. Filling the void can help you get ahead. What are some of these skills?

Communication
Critical thinking
Collaboration and Team Building
Creativity and Innovation

So, how is this done? You can enroll in internal or external classes for professional development, get new or advanced certifications in your area of expertise, build interpersonal skills, join professional associations to network and put yourself on the cutting edge of change.

If you are proactive, your career can soar. "If you're not moving up, you're slowly moving out."

Happiness: Cause or effect?

2011-04-20T13:52:00.000-05:00

Abe Lincoln said, "People are generally about as happy as they're willing to be." Michael Josephson in his blog states that, "Our happiness depends not on what happens to us, what what happens in us." Since happiness is a feeling, not a circumstance, it may be time to tune into your feeling on a daily basis to be more in touch with your personal sense of happiness.

So, what is cause? What is effect. Cause is "what makes something happen." Effect is "what happens." What are you making happen in your life that can "cause happiness?" The next question is, what happens inside you as a result?

How happy are you willing to be? What are your signs of happiness? Are you sharing these happy feelings? Take stock of how positively you focus your self-talk or inner dialogue. Too much negative talk can create stress, depression, anger or worse. How you frame your world has a lot to do with your happiness. Make sure you are taking time to "be happy" and express it. Continue to look within and find the feeling of happiness for strength, courage and sharing.

By the way, smiling goes a long way to turn toward happiness. Smiles are a gift, so give freely.

Webinar on Mind Medicine Listen at Your Leisure

2011-03-29T21:34:00.000-05:00

Webcast Library

To view the presentation, you will be asked to install Microsoft Silverlight.
It is safe and easy to install.

Mind Medicine: How Your Attitude Can Affect Your Health

Speaker: Dr. Mike Klabor. (originally webcast 3-1-2011)
Can your attitude really influence your physical health? Research in the new specialty of Positive Psychology shows that it can. But how? Studies show that how we think has a strong effect on our immune system and other physiological processes that affect overall health and well-being, our resistence to infection, our recovery from surgery, as well as how long we live. Dr. Klaybor discusses the influence of optimism and positive thinking on brain development, happiness and physical health, then shows how to harness this knowledge and use it in your every day life. We may not yet be able to eliminate medical conditions using Mind Medicine, but improving the quality and length of life is possible right now.
To view or listen, click on this link.

http://disability101.org/webcast-library.html

More on Optimism......

2011-03-26T17:25:00.000-05:00

So, the question is, do you believe attitude makes a difference in health, longevity and happiness? Does being an optimist improve quality of life? If you said "yes", you are correct. What are the important elements of attitude? OPTIMISM!!!!! is considered one of the most important. In a recent article by the Mayo Clinic Proceedings, Dr. Barry Bittman, suggests the actual difference between pessimists and optimists longevity is about 12 years. Wow!!!! 12 years of fun, creativity and life experience.

It may be time to take a look at your current environment, friendships, life stressors stressors including your perception of stress. If you believe something is stressful, then it is.

As Dr. Maruta, the chief investigator of the Mayo Clinic Study states, "ultimately it is not stress that kills us. Rather, it's our perception of stress that makes the difference." With this in mind, it is never to late to take charge of your attitude. Begin to look at the glass as half full. Take time daily to think about and focus on gratitude. Find positive people, experiences, and work on creating meaning and pleasure in your life. Whatever happens in life has "opportunity: tucked away inside for optimism. Since you have a choice how you think about things, go forward with a positive attitude to enhance optimism.

Neuroplasticity.....What is that?

2011-03-18T12:11:00.000-05:00

In a book by Dr. Norman Doidge, The Brain that Changes Itself, there are personal stories of the frontiers of brain science. The premise is the very "hopeful portrait" of the endless adaptability of the human brain. This book gives evidence of how the brain can change its own structure and function through the activity of thought. In addition to these most compelling book of ideas, I believe you will find how your positive thinking changes your brain for health, healing and transformation.

What is neuroplasticity? Let's start with "neuron" for the nerve cells in our brains and nervous system. "Plastic" for changeable, malleable and modifiable. Thus, neuroplasticity. The premise, we can create new circuits in our brain by using thinking to turn on or off genes thus shaping our behavior.

If you have felt stuck in your life, practice of these cognitive behavioral techniques can help and as you will discover in the book, you can change your brain.In fact, you can create new circuits that can change your depression, anxiety, pain or stress.

I recently conducted a webinar is about Mind Attitudes, Healing, Optimism and Positive Psychology. In the webinar, I discuss neuroplasticity. You may want to get it to some of your patients (or colleagues) to listen in on the webinar. The actual title for the webinar is: Mind Medicine: How Your Attitude Can Affect Your Health. Listen in at your leisure by clicking on this link.

http://www.disability101.org/webcast-library.html

Chronic Pain Treatment

2011-03-06T17:03:00.000-06:00

In the March 7, 2011 issue of TIme Magazine, the topic is Finding new ways to treat pain. Alice Park states, "pain is the human bodyguard, the cop on the beat racing to the scene....protecting you. " Pain helps you learn to avoid danger and is essential for survival. The article goes on to ask what happens when pain "goes rogue," or "sends off false alarms and becomes a persistent, unceasing torment." Well 76 million people experience pain that does not dissipate. Pain killing medication is effective only for time and can be very addictive. So, what is the answer?

A multifaceted approach that combines medication, physical therapy, and psychological support to help patients cope is recommended once it is established the pain is chronic. Multidisciplinary approaches tend to help the more severe cases of chronic pain. In addition, alternative treatment including massage, yoga, acupuncture, biofeedback, hypnosis, herbal supplements and biofield therapies (like quigong) can give a sense of relief and control.

Relief is at hand, consult your physician for recommendations.

What About Coaching? Is it for me?

2011-02-24T11:57:00.000-06:00

Elements of coaching:
Provides a confidential & objective time for self-reflection
Challenges your thinking
Helps with problem solving
Develops leadership abilities
Enhances communication
Aligns with the power structure
Creates alliances
Clarifies work expectations
Perhaps it is time for you to do a Role Behavioral Analysis of your work strengths, weaknesses, profile type and management style. We can do the DiSC Profile to help you find your way in your career. For more detail about the DiSC, take a look at www.execmap.com

Using Burnout as a Trigger for Personal Growth

2011-02-16T15:46:00.000-06:00

Burnout is a state of emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress. It occurs when you feel overwhelmed and unable to meet constant demands. As the stress continues, you begin to lose the interest or motivation that led you to take on a certain role in the first place.

Burnout reduces your productivity and saps your energy, leaving you feeling increasingly helpless, hopeless, cynical, and resentful. Eventually, you may feel like you have nothing more to give.

Most of us have days when we feel bored, overloaded, or unappreciated; when the dozen balls we keep in the air aren’t noticed, let alone rewarded; when dragging ourselves out of bed requires the determination of Hercules. If you feel like this most of the time, however, you may be flirting with burnout.

You may be on the road to burnout if:

▪ Every day is a bad day.

▪ Caring about your work or home life seems like a total waste of energy.

▪ You’re exhausted all the time.

▪ The majority of your day is spent on tasks you find either mind-numbingly dull or overwhelming.

▪ You feel like nothing you do makes a difference or is appreciated.

The negative effects of burnout spill over into every area of life – including your home and social life. Burnout can also cause long-term changes to your body that make you vulnerable to illnesses like colds and flu. Because of its many consequences, it’s important to deal with burnout right away.

Dealing with Burnout: The "Three R" Approach

▪ Recognize – Watch for the warning signs of burnout

▪ Reverse – Undo the damage by managing stress and seeking support

▪ Resilience – Build your resilience to stress by taking care of your physical and emotional health

Life, work, personality, attitude and stress all affect you. Life balance develops resilience. Be sure to pay attention to the signs and then take action.

Mind Medicine--Positive Psychology and Health Talk

2011-02-16T14:03:00.002-06:00

If you are interested, I will be giving a webinar on March 1st from 7:00 pm to 8:00 pm. The flyer and information in is this graphic. Feel free to call for additional information.

The link to sign up is below. Please pass on the word to anyone you think might be interested.
Link to register.

Mind-Body Medicine

2011-02-07T17:24:00.002-06:00

If you have a medical problem, the is help with mind/body techniques. Reducing pain, stress, inflammation, headaches, problems with sleep, it may be time to learn to relax and manage your health from the inside out.

Mind-Body Medicine Mind-body medicine typically focuses on intervention strategies that are thought to promote health, such as relaxation, hypnosis, visual imagery, meditation, yoga, biofeedback, tai chi, qi gong, cognitive-behavioral therapies, group support, autogenic training and spirituality.

Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is based on the idea that our thoughts cause our feelings and behaviors, not external issues, such as people or events. The advantage of this idea is that you can alter the way you think so that you feel or act better even if circumstances do not change. According to the National Association of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapists, CBT is a joint effort between therapist and client. Cognitive-behavioral therapists help clients learn what they want out of life and then help their clients achieve those goals. A therapist will listen, teach, and encourage, while the client expresses concerns, learns, and then implements what they have learned.

Meditation

In meditation, a person learns to focus their attention and suspend the stream of thoughts that normally occupy the mind. This practice is believed to result in a state of greater physical relaxation, mental calmness, and psychological balance. Practicing meditation can change how a person relates to the flow of emotions and thoughts in their mind.

The U-Bend of Life

2011-02-01T09:23:00.000-06:00

In the December issue of The Economist Magazine, there is an article about age and happiness. It states that traditionally countries typically measure GDP or Gross National Product The country of Bhutan measures "Gross National Happiness".

The U-Bend basically states, people get happier as they get older.

These ideas have penetrated the policy arena, starting in Bhutan, where the concept of Gross National Happiness shapes the planning process. All new policies have to have a GNH assessment, similar to the environmental-impact assessment common in other countries. In 2008 France’s president, Nicolas Sarkozy, asked two Nobel-prize-winning economists, Amartya Sen and Joseph Stiglitz, to come up with a broader measure of national contentedness than GDP. Then last month, in a touchy-feely gesture not typical of Britain, David Cameron announced that the British government would start collecting figures on well-being.

There are already a lot of data on the subject collected by, for instance, America’s General Social Survey, Eurobarometer and Gallup. Surveys ask two main sorts of question. One concerns people’s assessment of their lives, and the other how they feel at any particular time. The first goes along the lines of: thinking about your life as a whole, how do you feel? The second is something like: yesterday, did you feel happy/contented/angry/anxious? The first sort of question is said to measure global well-being, and the second hedonic or emotional well-being. They do not always elicit the same response: having children, for instance, tends to make people feel better about their life as a whole, but also increases the chance that they felt angry or anxious yesterday.

Whatever the causes of the U-bend, it has consequences beyond the emotional. Happiness doesn’t just make people happy—it also makes them healthier. John Weinman, professor of psychiatry at King’s College London, monitored the stress levels of a group of volunteers and then inflicted small wounds on them. The wounds of the least stressed healed twice as fast as those of the most stressed.

At Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh, Sheldon Cohen infected people with cold and flu viruses. He found that happier types were less likely to catch the virus, and showed fewer symptoms of illness when they did. So although old people tend to be less healthy than younger ones, their cheerfulness may help counteract their crumbliness.

Happier people are more productive, too. Mr Oswald and two colleagues, Eugenio Proto and Daniel Sgroi, cheered up a bunch of volunteers by showing them a funny film, then set them mental tests and compared their performance to groups that had seen a neutral film, or no film at all. The ones who had seen the funny film performed 12% better.

The data is in. After reviewing employment status, money, children, circumstances, happiness that follows middle aged misery must be the result NOT of external circumstances, but of internal changes.

Take a moment to review this article and then ask yourself, "what internal changes are needed for me to be happy?"

From the article, "this leads to two conclusions. First, if you are going to volunteer for a study, choose the economists’ experiment rather than the psychologists’ or psychiatrists’. Second, the cheerfulness of the old should help counteract their loss of productivity through declining cognitive skills—a point worth remembering as the world works out how to deal with an ageing workforce."

If you want to read the entire article, click on this link: http://www.economist.com/node/17722567

Understanding Problems with Alcohol

2011-01-27T17:04:00.000-06:00

These are some basics about alcohol dependence or abuse.

Alcoholism or Alcohol Abuse is a progressive disease like Diabetes. It cannot be cured, only treated with ongoing support, AA and relapse prevention.
Denial or about severity of impairment or underestimating quantity or effects alcohol is a common
Downplaying the negative consequences of drinking minimizes the impact on self and family
Blame or complaining that family and friends are exaggerating
Using alcohol to "relax" with increased frequency and amounts
Recurrent use of alcohol in situations that are physically hazardous (driving)
Continued use despite having persistent or recurrent social or interpersonal problems caused or exacerbated by the effects of the substance
Blackouts
Arguments and losing emotional control
Hangovers, missing work and not attending to the demand of life

Is alcoholism a disease?

Yes, alcoholism is a disease. The craving that an alcoholic feels for alcohol can be as strong as the need for food or water. An alcoholic will continue to drink despite serious family, health, or legal problems.

Like many other diseases, alcoholism is chronic, meaning that it lasts a person's lifetime; it usually follows a predictable course; and it has symptoms. The risk for developing alcoholism is influenced both by a person's genes and by his or her lifestyle.

Can alcoholism be cured?

No, alcoholism cannot be cured at this time. Even if an alcoholic hasn't been drinking for a long time, he or she can still suffer a relapse. Not drinking is the safest course for most people with alcoholism. But, alcoholism can be successfully treated.

Here is a good link to check out for more information.

http://www.medicinenet.com/alcohol_abuse_and_alcoholism/article.htm#12whyis)

We can guide you in the right direction for help.

Divorce and Separation

2011-01-27T11:11:00.001-06:00

Perhaps, you have already emotionally disengaged. Below are signs that you may have waited too long to save your marriage.

dream about a life without your spouse
bad emotions and experiences outweigh the good
keep things to yourself
feel alone in the marriage
rarely, if ever have sex
don’t feel desired or wanted
there is no fun or humor anymore
don’t do things together
work to avoid going home
are often defensive

Couples therapy can help. We work with couples, so don't wait too long for help.

Recovering from Burnout

2011-01-26T11:44:00.001-06:00

Sometimes it’s too late to prevent burnout – you’re already past the breaking point. If that’s the case, it’s important to take your burnout very seriously. Trying to push through the exhaustion and continue as you have been will only cause further emotional and physical damage.

While the tips for preventing burnout are still helpful at this stage, recovery requires additional steps.

Burnout recovery strategy #1: Slow down

When you’ve reached the end stage of burnout, adjusting your attitude or looking after your health isn’t going to solve the problem. You need to force yourself to slow down or take a break. Cut back whatever commitments and activities you can. Give yourself time to rest, reflect, and heal.

Burnout recovery strategy #2: Get support

When you’re burned out, the natural tendency is to protect what little energy you have left by isolating yourself. But your friends and family are more important than ever during difficult times. Turn to your loved ones for support. Simply sharing your feelings with another person can relieve some of the burden.

Burnout recovery strategy #3: Reevaluate your goals and priorities

Burnout is an undeniable sign that something important in your life is not working. Take time to think about your hopes, goals, and dreams. Are you neglecting something that is truly important to you? Burnout can be an opportunity to rediscover what really makes you happy and to change course accordingly.

Below are some hints....take a few moments to take stock of your situation to provide clues to your reasons for burnout and possible remedies.

Remember, you can get coaching to help you refocus and recharge.

Smoking marijuana as teen may have lasting brain effects, study suggests

2011-01-20T16:22:00.000-06:00

Story in USA Today, By Mary Brophy Marcus

"Teenagers respond differently to drugs than adults, and early use may lead to long-lasting effects on brain development, according to new research."

A study presented at the Society for Neuroscience meeting, in San Diego last week, shows people who start using marijuana at a young age have more cognitive shortfalls. Also, the more marijuana a person used in adolescence, the more trouble they had with focus and attention.

"Early onset smokers have a different pattern of brain activity, plus got far fewer correct answers in a row and made way more errors on certain cognitive tests," says study author Staci Gruber, assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School.

Functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) backed that up. Gruber presented fMRI data that showed that the frontal cortex of marijuana users' brains activated differently. The frontal cortex is where attention, decision-making and executive function take place.

The author and study suggests that, "Given the prevalence of marijuana use in the United States, these findings underscore the importance of establishing effective strategies to decrease marijuana use, especially in younger populations," she says.

If you want to read the article in its entirety, click on this link:

http://www.usatoday.com/yourlife/health/medical/pediatrics/2010-11-20-teendrugs22_ST_N.htm?csp=obinsite

When People are Poison

2011-01-14T14:20:00.001-06:00

Be on the lookout for toxic people in your life. If you have a difficult relative or relationship, you need to know when to call it quits. In a recent article by Mark Goulston, he describes signs of toxic people. Take a moment to review this list to see if you need to remove either people or negative/toxic thoughts from yourself.

Here are some signs:
1) Seeing them makes you tense.
2) They're mean to others, nice to you.
3) You fear them.
4) You worry they'll embarrass you.
5) They're easily upset and hard to please.
6) You no longer respect them.
7) You don't look forward to seeing them.
8) Friends tell you to get away from them.

Essentially, if you have tried every avenue to let the offender know how you feel, it may be time to distance yourself. Very calmly tell the person exactly which behavior you cannot tolerate and say you need a break. Handling them in a gracious way shows you haven't been infected with their toxicity. Don't try channeling Clint Eastwood, things will only escalate.

Spend time with people you look forward to seeing, enjoy your time together and feel great after meeting up. These are the signs of a healthy, positive and fulfilling relationship.

Why Relaxing Is Hard Work...Can't slow down? Even on vacation? You've got plenty of company.

2011-01-12T11:04:00.000-06:00

In a Wall Street Journal article from June of 2010, there was an excellent article about relaxing in America. Here are some suggestions. Find out what works best for you.

-- Try something new. Learning something in a new place can be more relaxing and refreshing than trying to do nothing. While it's good to get outside your comfort zone, it's not necessary to explode out of it. "I don't want to go bungee jumping," says Matthew Edlund, a sleep expert in Sarasota, Fla., and author of "The Power of Rest\" who says he'd much prefer walking through Berlin or Beijing. "You decide what your level of adventurousness is and do it."

-- Have a plan, but be flexible. Completely winging it somewhere can be stressful, so have a rough idea of what you're going to do, but be willing to change it. "If you find that you're on a beach and you\'re bored out of your mind, get up and do something else," says Dr. Edlund.

-- Get physical. Besides releasing endorphins, exercise also burns off excess adrenaline and cortisol. The "flight" can be on the treadmill, after all. If you haven\'t been exercising, a vacation can be a good time to start. Even a walk on the beach can be invigorating for a chaise potato. At the other extreme, some people relax by doing marathons or triathlons. But overdoing it be stressful as well.

"We really weren't meant to sit at a desk 12 hours a day," says Dr. Edlund, who recommends that vacationers alternate periods of "food, activity and rest."

-- Build in a buffer. Don't work right up until the moment you leave and head back to work right off the plane. If possible, schedule an extra day off before you depart and another when you come back to dive back in slowly.

-- Manage expectations. Make sure your colleagues and clients know that you’ll be away and checking in only occasionally; tell those back home the kind of matters you want to be bothered about.

-- Breathe. As New Agey as it sounds, meditating and paced breathing can stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system, which works to balance the surges of adrenaline and cortisol that accompany stress, says Dr. Rosch.

-- Practice mindfulness: Research suggests that focusing the mind on the present moment can have profound effects. Mostly, it involves observing your surrounds without making judgments. Try observing your own feelings.

"Work on not working," says Dr. Robinson. "With five minutes to think, ask yourself, 'Why do I work this way? Why am I rushing?' Most of us keep judging ourselves all the time, workaholics especially. It's never enough. Examine those feelings. They might lead you to enlightenment."

Why not find a coach, personal trainer, or get with a friend and commit to developing relaxation skills. It has been proven scientifically that you live longer, the quality of your life will improve. Find your "haven" and spend time there either in fantasy or by a visit or both.

In fact, pick a day to do nothing and then relax afterward!!!

Happy New Year

2010-12-27T15:00:00.001-06:00

It is time to reflect on the past year and your life mission or purpose. Asking yourself some basic questions is a good place to start.
1) Are you finding meaning in your life?
2) Are you experiencing pleasure?
3) Are you "engaged"?

Happiness is a by product of having meaning, pleasure and being engaged. If you find you are lacking in any of these 3 areas, consider what will help you get there. A balanced life of social, spiritual, physical and emotional components will give you an opportunity to achieve happiness.

Have a magical and productive new year!!!!

Wellness Program in Russia

2010-12-20T14:11:00.000-06:00

Attached is a copy of the newsletter from the Wellness Program that we have been working on in the past year. We are very excited about the fact that the program has been extended for 2 more years. We are working with local psychologists, doctors, Human Resources, Health and Safety, IT to coordinate a comprehensive Wellness program. Enjoy reading!

Learning to Deal with Verbal Abuse

2010-12-13T08:47:00.003-06:00

Patricia Evans, author of "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" explains abuse victims don't realize that the problem isn't theirs.: it's in the abuser's need to dominate and control.

Hallmarks of verbal abuse:

It's hostile.

It's unpredictible.

It's manipulative and controlling.

It happens when no one else is around.

The victim feels confused and surprised.

The words are hurtful.

What can you do? Respond with;

Stop it! or Don't talk to me like that.

Don't defend or explain, the abuser is not interested in understanding you, just control you.

Listen to your feelings and believe them.

Remove yourself if you assess the situation as dangerous.

Verbal abuse is a doorway to physical abuse, so take steps to be safe.

Get support through a therapist and/or support group.

Seek information.

When you calmly stand up for yourself and refuse to be goaded into defending or explaining, the abuser typically gives up.

We can help!!!!

Wellness Program in Russia

2010-12-10T13:46:00.002-06:00

As many of you may remember, last July I was in Russia for my third trip developing a wellness program, training psychologists and medical doctors in western methods of psychological assessment, treatment, stress management, smoking cessation and intake procedures. The flyer you are looking at is this blog is the new newsletter that was a part of our promotional program.

It is so exciting to see these programs coming to fruition. In fact, just yesterday, we were notified that the program will be extended for two more years. It is a great experience and opportunity for me to work in another culture and use my Russian language skill.

How are you doing on your own wellness program? Maybe it is time to start some personal wellness projects for yourself.

Teletherapy

2010-12-04T18:56:00.003-06:00

At Klaybor and Klaybor Psychotherapy Services, we can deliver a series of Teleheath programs and services to you. This may include weekly, online therapy via Voice-over Internet Protocol (VoIP) platforms, information blogs, a series of content-based podcasts and videocasts, even maintenance of social private chat rooms to keep your informed.

Skype is a free software program that allows us to meet over the internet using a video camera can bring a psychotherapist into your office or home in and provide psychotherapy with the latest technology. Skype software is used to provide a one-on-one web based counseling session. It is an effective Voice-over Internet Protocal (VoIP) platform that is easy to use and completely free. We can provide mental health services to anyone with a computer, broadband internet connection, webcam, and microphone. Click on the Skype logo in blue to go directly to their website and signup. You just need a screen name and password to get started.

Online counseling, or “Teletherapy,” is when a professional counselor or psychotherapist talks with a client over the Internet to give emotional support, mental health assessment, goal setting and a treatment plan. This process can be one question or an ongoing conversation; it could be by an iChat, telephone conference or even Voice-over Internet Protocol (VoIP) or use of your computer to make a call for computer to computer connection.

Teletherapy is a viable alternative to therapy in person, especially when medical complications can limit a person’s ability to see a therapist in person. Teletherapy is a source of help when traditional psychotherapy is not accessible. It’s effective. It’s confidential. Skilled, licensed, qualified, and ethical professionals conduct your Teletherapy. And for some people, it’s the only way they can get help from a professional therapist.

Call or Skype us for details. You will just set an appointment for an online session. We will get you an overview of informed consent to use this therapy modality.

Thanksgiving Week and Gratitude

2010-11-21T13:21:00.004-06:00

The Thanksgiving holiday is a great time to take stock in the blessings in your life. Let your dearest friends and family know what you are thankful for at this time in your life.

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. " John Fitzgerald Kennedy

I believe that love is a verb, not a noun, so be sure to put your gratitude and thanks into action.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

YIKES!!!! Heavy Smoking in Midlife Doubles the Risk for Alzheimer's Disease

2010-11-09T12:25:00.004-06:00

Medscape reported a recent study by Hien T. Nghiem, MD, that showed that participants who smoked more than 2 packs per day in middle age had a more than 100% increased risk for dementia, Alzheimer's Disease, AD, and vascular dementia, compared with those who said that they were never smokers. Individuals who had quit by the time they took the survey, however, did not have a greater risk compared with never smokers, Dr. Whitmer noted.

The finding, from a large cohort of more than 20,000 people, suggests that the brain is not immune to long-term consequences of heavy smoking.

"That's an important message. It shows that there is definitely a benefit to quitting," she said.

It is never to late to quit. Why not start now or get a loved one to reduce their chances of Alzheimer's Disease. We doing have a smoking cessation program at Klaybor and Klaybor. Call for more information.

Kids pick up on parents' stress, survey finds

2010-11-09T11:41:00.004-06:00

USA Today has an article by Sharon Jayson describing the stress reactions of children when parents are stressed.

"Parents may think they're shielding their kids from worry and stress, but a report to be released today by the American Psychological Association finds they don't do a very good job of hiding their stress from their children."

Ninety-one percent of 1,136 young people ages 8-17 surveyed cite ways they know parents are stressed, largely by their behavior.

The online survey, conducted by Harris Interactive in August, shows:

•34% say parents yell.

•30% say parents argue with other people in the household.

•18% say parents are too busy or "don't have time for me."

The message from the consulting psychologist is:

"It's actually better to talk with your kids about the fact that the parent is having challenges," he says. "The key message is 'We're going to address these difficulties and we'll be OK. We'll get through this.' "

So, take time to talk and reassure your children or they will suffer.

Crash Course on Social Media

2010-11-02T13:53:00.002-05:00

It is time to get your geek skills up to speed. This program will provide an overview of basic social media methods and then a hands on workshop to teach you how to do a blog, Tweet, Skype (free internet video calling), and many more. This workshop is for mental health professionals or organizations wanting to develop or understand the use and impact of social media.

"INTERNATIONAL ASSIGNMENTS: GETTING WHAT YOU PAY FOR...INSTEAD OF PAYING FOR WHAT YOU GET - - A Management view, from going... to coming back".

2010-10-23T18:23:00.003-05:00

I will be a presenter on an esteemed panel of speakers at the Global HR Conference in Houston on 11/10/2010. An overview is below. The topic is regarding expatriates and issues that arise.

International assignments are expensive, and failed or compromised assignments are especially expensive. Corporations and management are only recently starting to come to grips with some of the actual cost elements and expenses.

Current research, for example clearly demonstrates that of the failed or compromised assignments, 67% are due to family adjustment and family support problems, which are also ranked as the number one challenge expats report.

Neill Carson will discuss tools and programs that foster the success of the assignment by “supporting in” rather than “screening out” expat candidates and the incredible cost-benefit ratio and return on investment for involving and supporting families in this process.

Sara Rozin will address the importance of not only understanding the culture of one’s host country, but also the importance of understanding oneself in the context of culture: cultural self- awareness.

Dr. Klaybor will discuss the importance of pre-departure preparation and planning, the in-country support services currently available, and the positive impact these efforts have on assignment success.

Finally, Ken Burgess and Neill Carson will review the “repat” (coming back home) process. According to current (HR) literature, one-third of those experiencing an expatriate assignment leave their companies as unhappy employees within 12-months of returning home, an extraordinary expense in terms of both money and talent! Burgess and Carson will discuss the repat process, and will highlight a new tool and innovative process aimed at eliminating the preventable attrition and losses from the coming home process.

Upcoming Workshop: Crash Course on Social Media

2010-10-19T12:51:00.002-05:00

On December 3rd, 2010, Dr. Mike and Marina London will be conducting a 7 hour training program for mental health and employee assistance professionals at the Council on Alcohol and Drugs Houston. The conference is sponsored by the Houston Chapter of the Employee Assistance Professionals Association.

Check out the flyer for details.

Dr. Gayle Klaybor selected to the Association of Social Work Boards

2010-10-19T12:39:00.002-05:00

A special group was honored for being selected to be item writers for the National Association of Social Workers licensing exam. This is quite an honor to participate in this process.

Applicants must undergo a competitive screening process that matches demographics, areas of expertise, and aptitude as demonstrated by an assessment instrument with the current needs of the organization. The pool of writers must be well-balanced for diversity in many areas.

What a great honor and recognition for Dr. Gayle.

iRestAssured Program

2010-10-11T14:31:00.002-05:00

This is our new program. Take a look and please send it on to anyone you feel might benefit.

Have a seat....let's talk....online.

2010-10-11T14:05:00.003-05:00

Klaybor and Klaybor is proud to announce that we are collaborating with Healthy Connections, a home nursing agency to provide some state of the art mental health treatment. The program is called, iRestAssured. It is a program that utilizes web-based, face-to-face, and telephone consultations to assess and treat some of the problems related to high risk pregnancy.

Stress, life changes and family concerns related to complications such as Preterm Labor, Pregnancy Induced Hypertension and Hyperemesis, can lead to loss of independence, loss of a stable job, loss of income, and changes in family dynamics. All of these can lead to additional stress and emotions making it difficult to cope with the day to day life throughout the pregnancy. We can help. By using Skype, a free, encrypted (safe and secure) program, we can conduct video assessment and treatment. Check out Healthy Connections at: www.hchcs.com or our blog at: www.iRestAssured.blogspot.com.

It is now possible to get help to manage stress, anxiety or depression from your own home on utilizing your computer. We can bring psychotherapy to your home. Call us for more information at 713-621-2490.

Keys to happiness: Altruism and a non-neurotic spouse

2010-10-04T16:17:00.003-05:00

Elizabeth Weise reported in an article in USA Today, that researchers, in Germany, Holland and Australia, worked from the German Socieo-Economic Panel Survey, which has been doing every-five-year interviews with Germans since 1984 and currently has over 60,000 people enrolled. Here are some of the core findings of their research.

Want to be happy? A 26-year study of Germans suggests it's not that hard:

Marry someone who's not neurotic.
Focus more on friends and family, less on material goods.
Get involved in making the world a better place.
Have a job but also enough time for leisure.
Stay physically active.
For men, don't be underweight. For women, don't be obese.

Now is the time, meaning today to begin to take steps to ensure your own happiness. Although you may be where you want to be, perhaps you can get starting today.

As the photo symbolizes, happiness is in your hands.

The full article can be read? http://content.usatoday.com/communities/sciencefair/post/2010/10/keys-to-happiness---non-neurotic-spouse-altruism/1

Hypnosis and Weight Loss

2010-09-27T12:24:00.002-05:00

I get many requests to help people lose weight using hypnosis. So, how well does it work? What can you expect? What is the success rate?

The answers are as follows:

1) Hypnosis is an adjunct to a weight loss program. It is NOT the only element needed to lose weight. The is no magic bullet. Weight loss is really life style change. A good weight loss plan or program needs to include a very detailed and consistent exercise program of at least 3 days a week, a healthy diet or nutrition plan, support (like Weight Watchers or Overeaters Anonymous (OA), caloric reduction in the vicinity of 1200-1500 per day, and mood management. Getting a baseline of caloric intake is important understand. Writing down everything you eat for 1 week helps raise awareness and benchmark your "normal" fat gram and calorie intake.

2) Since food is mood in many cases, exploring the emotions associated with eating is another essential component. This is where counseling is helpful. Creating a weight loss plan and establishing a team of support enhances success. A nutritionist, personal trainer, support group and help from family and friends creates the basics for a team to help you.

3) Hypnosis helps curb cravings, urges and automatic or unconscious eating. Hypnosis also provides insight into new ways to mentally rehearse your new eating and exercise habits. Breaking patterns my making new associations and replacing old behavior is improved with the use of trance.

Take a moment to review this side-by-side diet comparison for Drew Carey, the comedian who recently lost 72 pounds. His advice is simple, make a 100% commitment and quit rewarding yourself with food.

Pregnancy the First 9 Months

2010-09-26T14:43:00.003-05:00

In this weeks Time Magazine Article, Annie Murphy Paul writes, "the kind, and quantity of nutrition you received in the womb; the pollutants, drugs and infections you were exposed to during gestation; your's mother's health, stress level and state of mind while she was pregnant with you--all these factors shaped you s a baby and a child and continue to affect you to this day." With Healthy Connections medical, nursing and psychological care, you can make the prenatal experience one that shapes a healthier baby.

Temperament of the baby has been found to be linked to the mother's mood. The article basically states that the healthier the mother, the healthier the baby. Take care of yourself, watch your nutrition, exercise and take care of your emotional wellbeing for the sake of your baby. The healthier you are, the better it is for you both!

Subscribe to Podcasts of Blogs

2010-09-21T09:55:00.003-05:00

Did you know that you can sign up for podcasts of our Blogs through iTunes? Simply click on "Subscribe to this Podcast" You can listen at your leisure to our blogs.

Website---New Feature

2010-09-21T08:50:00.003-05:00

Effective immediately, new patients can fill out all intake and registration forms online and email them to our office to save time at their first appointment. In addition, there is a release and information about our Teletherapy services and program. An informed consent is attached explaining the advantages of using the internet for psychotherapy when face to face sessions are not possible.

Meditation and the Brain

2010-09-07T14:04:00.003-05:00

The research is clear, meditation helps the brain, blood flow, improves the immune system and much.

“Given the popularity and effectiveness of meditation as a means of alleviating stress and maintaining good health, there is a pressing need for a rigorous investigation of how it affects brain function,” says Professor Jim Lagopoulos. “Previous studies have shown that theta waves indicate deep relaxation and occur more frequently in highly experienced meditation practitioners. The source is probably frontal parts of the brain, which are associated with monitoring of other mental processes.”

“When we measure mental calm, these regions signal to lower parts of the brain, inducing the physical relaxation response that occurs during meditation.”

Give it a try. Meditation is good for your brain and health.

Book on Leadership--How good are you at REALLY leading your life?

2010-09-07T07:35:00.004-05:00

In a recent book, The Secrets of Resilient Leadership: When Failure Is Not an Option.Six Essential Characteristics for Leading in Adversity by by Ph.D. George S. Everly Jr.,Ph.D. Douglas A. Strouse,George S. Everly III, six essential principles of leadership are reviewed. They are as follows:

1) following the moral compass of integrity,
2) using the power of communication,
3) optimism, and the self-fulfilling prophecy,
4) taking responsibility for one's actions,
5) building a resilient culture, and
6) honing physical health as a competitive advantage.

Take a moment to reflect on these principles to consider how successful you are at following these concepts in your job, marriage, family and health. Once you engage in actualizing these principles, your happiness will improve.

MOSCOW, RUSSIA: Urgent Need for EAP Russia’s natural resources are without parallel, but its human capital is at major risk

2010-09-01T13:23:00.003-05:00

Not too long ago, working with colleagues Sara Rozin, Ken Burgess, Chestnut EAP, Corp Health and Harris Rothenburg International, we helped create and train 11 psychologists in Moscow about employee assistance. Once marvelous thing about this training is that it was all conducted over the internet using Skype (a videocast) and Webex. These are programs that use video to see each participant, exchange files, and conduct real time presentations. The ability to talk, present and see presenters and participants.

We trained psychologists on the essence of employee assistance, tracking procedures, evaluation and brief therapy concepts. This was innovative and a great way to teach about western methods of psychotherapy and treatment. Here are a few excerpts from the article by David A. Sharar, PhD, and Alexander Shtoulman, MD.

"Until recently, Employee Assistance Programs or EAP in Russia was virtually an unknown concept primarily offered to expatriate workers, not the local national workforce.

However, over the past few years, EAP has become a part of the employee benefits package being offered by just a few U.S. based multinationals in Russia to local hires, or Russian workers. Foreign companies that operate in Russia seem particularly aware of the toll of excessive alcohol consumption and psychosocial stress among workers as they grapple with safety and productivity problems.....Russia’s natural resources are without parallel, but its human capital is at major risk. A debilitated workforce is a barrier to economic success. EAPs and related workplace programs are not a panacea for what ails the Russian workforce, but employers and human resource professionals in Russia must invest in programs that can intervene, and hopefully prevent, the diseases and disorders largely caused by lifestyle risk factors."

To read the entire article, go to: http://www.globalhrnews.com/story.asp?sid=1215

Dalai Lama's 18 Rules for Living

2010-08-29T19:47:00.002-05:00

At the start of the new millennium the Dalai Lama apparently issued eighteen rules for living. See how these work with your value system. I believe these rules are both inspiring and fundamental for happiness and a good life.

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three Rs:
1. Respect for self
2. Respect for others
3. Responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

New Referral Alliance

2010-08-26T15:00:00.003-05:00

We are please to announce that we are working with Health Connections, a home nursing company. From their website, I have copied the essence of their company.

"We are a provider of high-risk obstetrical homecare services for pregnant women in the Houston, Texas and Dallas-Fort Worth areas. Our company is committed to providing the highest quality homecare services to our pregnant patients. Through the use of our 24 Hour-a-Day/7 Day-a-Week Call Center, staffed by Registered Nurses with unparalleled experience in high-risk obstetrical care, Healthy Connections believes that we can help women and their unborn babies achieve the best possible pregnancy outcome without unnecessary hospital visits and expenses."

We are excited to be a referral source for the mental, emotional needs of their patients. Please check out their website at:http://www.hchcs.com/

The exciting thing about this affiliation is that we are going to be using teletherapy (internet based treatment) to help women on bed rest with high risk pregnancy problems. This is a really unique approach to psychotherapy and assessment moving toward the adjunctive treatment alternatives.

Twitter

2010-08-21T20:21:00.003-05:00

Want to find out about what is going on moment by moment? Twitter is the answer. 140 characters or less gives you a snapshot and update. Check us out on Twitter.

Go to www.twitter.klaybor.com

COMPULSIVE HOARDING SIGNS

2010-08-13T21:54:00.002-05:00

In an article today in USA Today, It's called a hidden epidemic," said Megan O'Bryan, an Indianapolis clinical psychologist who specializes in obsessive-compulsive disorder and hoarding. "Hoarders are reluctant to reveal it. They are embarrassed by it but don't want to seek treatment." The roots of this problem lie in a diagnosis of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. These are the signs as reported by the International Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Association.

• Accumulating of large amounts of clutter in the home, office or car, making it difficult to move around easily.
• Having difficulty getting rid of possessions because of an emotional attachment to them.
• Not being able to stop taking free items.
• Buying too many items because they are bargains or to stock up.
• Not inviting family or friends into the home because of embarrassment.
• Losing important items like money or bills in the clutter.
• Feeling overwhelmed by the volume of possessions that have taken over.

Source: International Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Foundation

If you, or some one you know suffers from this problem, get help. A combination of medication and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can relieve a lot of suffering. This is a painful and difficult problem that requires professional intervention.

6 Components to Aging Well

2010-08-10T11:55:00.003-05:00

So, how do you feel about aging? Is your body holding up? Do you know what to do to help maximize aging well? Here are 6 components to aging with grace. Examine how you are doing with respect to each of these elements for yourself.

1) Relationships
2) Exercise
3) Eating right
4) Sleep
5) Novelty
6) Awareness

Od course, the objective is to maintain each one of these elements in your life. Let's talk about how to help you get on the right track for "awesome, rewarding and healthy aging."

What are your needs?

2010-08-04T16:02:00.003-05:00

Take a moment to review this diagram. This is an overview of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.

The basis of Maslow's motivation theory is that human beings are motivated by unsatisfied needs, and that certain lower factors need to be satisfied before higher needs can be satisfied. According to Maslow, there are general types of needs (physiological, survival, safety, love, and esteem) that must be satisfied before a person can act unselfishly. He called these needs "deficiency needs." As long as we are motivated to satisfy these cravings, we are moving towards growth, toward self-actualization.

Examine where you are on the scale to determine what needs will help you achieve personal growth. To motivate yourself, it is important to work to satisfy your inner needs. What is holding you back from achieving self-actualization?

Web Secret #111: 6 People Who Rock the Net

2010-07-30T10:54:00.002-05:00

What an honor!!! Marina London, award winning blogger and computer guru has just listed me as one of her top people who rock on the net. Be sure to check out and subscribe to her up to date, informative, interesting, fun, creative, amazingly useful blog at: www.iWebU.blogspot.com. Here is the text of blog #111:

Part of my job is looking over hundreds of websites, blogs, Face Book pages, Twitters, and more every month. With that much on my plate, I only follow a very small group of experts on a regular basis. This blog post honors this select group:

1. Bill O'Hanlon - When I grow up, I want to be Bill O'Hanlon and it's not just because he lives in my favorite place in the whole world, Santa Fe. Bill is a therapist, an "A list" speaker, and a writer extraordinaire. In addition, he is a master marketer and has figured out how to make the World Wide Web and social media work for him. Visit www.billohanlon.com and you will discover his whirlwind of blogs, international speaking engagements, published books, newsletters, and more. Bill's Tech Boot Camp opened my eyes to blogging and social media in January 2008. Thank you Bill!

2. DeeAnna Nagel - Want to know what we will be doing in 2020 or 2030? DeeAnna knows...and she's probably doing it already. DeeAnna is one of the visionaries behind the Online Therapy Institute and the author of the recently published Therapy Online: A Practical Guide. When she isn't traveling around delivering important presentations, DeeAnna is hosting conferences and providing consultation in Second Life, a virtual world where OTI owns its own virtual building. So cool.

3. Jeff Bulla - Jeff is an internet and social media expert living in Sydney, Australia. He updates his eponymous blog JeffBullas.com brilliantly, virtually every day and I read it - every day - carefully. He mostly writes about how corporations use social media, or has advice about how they should use social media. His stuff is relevant to anyone trying to enhance their business and their branding - regardless of their field. His blog is my bible.

4. Will Baum - Will is a psychotherapist based in Los Angeles and the mind behind Where the Client Is. I am not sure exactly what Where the Client Is, is - is it a website, a blog, an online magazine, or something else? Who knows and who cares. All I know is it's the go to resource to build your private practice.

5. Michael Klaybor - Another new technology pioneer, Mike used his clinical expertise and fluent Russian to become one of the very first psychologists to deliver international consultation via Skype. He also creatively harnessed Twitter and blogging to provide support and counseling to the many isolated and anxious high risk pregnant women on bed rest via iRestAssured. Mike is an early adopter and can be relied upon to have the latest gadget, or gizmo du jour. He creates podcasts, webcasts, and has a black belt in karate. He is from the Midwest and speaks Russian. He reliably amazes me.

6. Gary Vaynerchuk - Gary sells wine. Why is he on my list? As a very young man, Gary was dragged into the family business, a local liquor store called Shoppers Discount Liquors. In 2006, Gary launched Wine Library TV, a daily video blog about wine. He could be seen in jeans and a t-shirt, sitting in his back yard, schmoozing expertly about wine. By 2008, this video trailblazer had raised the annual revenue of the store from $4 million to $60 million. You can watch Gary talk about wine, social media, and pursuing your dream on his website. Want to be inspired, entertained, and educated about the potential of social media to gain exposure? Visit GaryVaynerchuk.com.

May the Net be with you.

Inner Mental Training for Athletes Overview

2010-07-29T10:07:00.000-05:00

A right mindset is one of the determinants of an athlete's performance, right along with his or her physical condition and technical skills. Just as there is a set of well-known physical characteristics of a champion (i.e., strength, speed, and stamina), there is a set of mental factors identified as part of a winner's mindset. They are confidence, concentration, consistency and control. Mindset is important for several reasons. Often this is the factor is the difference between being good or the best.
Research has revealed that at least 50 percent of athletic performance successes and even more athletic performance errors and failures are due to mental factors. Often times, talents plus physical and technical training can take athletes and teams only so far before they reach a performance plateau. Mental training will carry athletes to the next level.
In their practices, mental training for athletes incorporates many psychological principles, such as behavioral analysis, anxiety, arousal, attention, motivation, and aggression, personality assessment for individuals, and leadership and cohesion for teams. The specific techniques used in mental conditioning or inner mental training include:
• Autogenic Training: Learn about personal physiological responses to stress in order to control those responses.
• Imagery/Simulation: Mental rehearsal your performance.
• Positive Visualization: "See" yourself perform with excellence in your mind.
• Relaxation Training: Use various relaxation methods to help with consistency and performance.
• Concentration Training: Learn to tune out distracters and develop focusing strategies.
• Positive Thought Training / Cognitive Restructuring: Change thinking patterns: Catch negative thoughts and stop them; think positive instead.
• Biofeedback for relaxation
• Hypnosis for inner control
• Confidence Training: Develop your own way of building confidence.
• Emotion Regulation Training: Learn to regulate emotional responses to situations during competitions.
• Goal Setting: High but attainable goals often best motivate athletes.
• Thought Stopping and Cognitive Behavioral Control

Are You Addicted to the Past?

2010-07-02T10:34:00.002-05:00

A very interesting article came my way that I want to share. In the Huffington Post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/, there is a concept for you to consider to see if you are stuck or plagued by problems in the past or unable to disconnect from bad feelings and a history of trauma.

Ask yourself, these 6 questions:
1. You Constantly Talk About the Past and the Way Things Used to Be
2. You Resist Change
3. You Continually Fail to Plan for a Better Future
4. You Argue for the Past that Things Used to Be Better
5. You've Allowed Relationships to Become Stale, Uninteresting and Without Passion
6. You have Physically or Mentally Peaked

So, do you suffer from an Addiction to the Past? If so, time to embrace change and move on.

Alcohol Use/Abuse in Families

2010-07-01T09:07:00.004-05:00

If you know you have a family history of alcohol dependency, it may be important to examine your own drinking patterns. There are studies to show that if you are raised in a alcoholic home, you are at double the risk of becoming an alcoholic yourself. There is a very simple way to begin to explore if you have a problem. The assessment is called the CAGE Questionnaire. There are four questions to respond yes or no.

1) Have you felt you should CUT down on your drinking?
2) Have people ANNOYED you by criticizing your drinking?
3) Have you ever felt bad or GUILTY about your drinking?
4) Have you ever used alcohol first thing in the morning to steady your nerves or get rid of a hangover?

If you answered yes to any of the 4 questions, you may want to speak to a counselor. Check out a book by Bert Pluymen, "The Thinking Man's Guide to Sobriety," to get an in depth perspective.

Mental Health is America

2010-07-01T08:20:00.004-05:00

As you can see by the chart on the right, Americans suffer a long time with mental health problems before ever getting help. On the average, people suffering from depression, generalized anxiety disorder or substance about take about 9 years to get help. As you can see, almost 17% of the US population suffers from depression. The tragedy is two fold to me. 1) mental health problems are very treatable with today's methods, and 2) waiting 5 to 23 years before getting treatment is a lot of undue suffering.

Studies have shown that treatment for depression or anxiety can be reduced by as much as 45% with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). With medication, symptoms can also be reduced by 40-45%. When you combine CBT with medication, the treatment efficacy virtually doubles. If you, a family member feel anxious, depressed or are experiencing any of the other problems listed on this chart, get help. Both Dr. Gayle and Dr. Mike Klaybor specialize in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Don't wait. The sooner you start treatment, the better you will feel. There is no need to suffer with these problems any longer than you already have.

So, What is Teletherapy? Is it for Me?

2010-06-24T13:58:00.004-05:00

Borrowing from my friend Marina's Blogsite, www.iwebu.blogspot.com is an overview of teletherapy. So what is it?

According to Marina, "Quite simply the delivery of mental health services through secure video, phone, and web." She goes on to say that teletherapy is convenient, affordable, accessible, confidential, legal and effective.

In a Time article from October 2008, Alice Park reports as follows:

"The convenience and comfort of Web-based counseling are indispensable. The Internet allows her to reach otherwise unreachable people: Many women whose marriages end unexpectedly are so devastated and ashamed of what they view as their own failure that they may never be able to face a therapist in person. Further, an interactive online setting lets therapists disseminate counseling to many people at once. "The Web offers tremendous potential," says David Mohr, a psychologist at Northwestern University. "We know from research that certain procedures in psychotherapy are likely to be effective for most people. The Web allows that type of standardized material to be presented in a way where it is available 24/7, and patients can access them whenever they want, and from anywhere they want." The principles of cognitive behavioral therapy, for example, which relies on step-wise learning to change behavior (think of habituation exercises routinely used to cure people of phobias of, say, heights or spiders), are particularly suited for such online distribution.

Read more: http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1855110,00.html#ixzz0rnasYM3S

We can provide this service for you by request. We have high speed internet, cameras and experienced in the use of these media. Please call for questions or more information.

disAbility 101 Upcoming Talk

2010-06-16T12:13:00.004-05:00

Please feel free to attend this upcoming talk on Saturday, July 10th, 2010 at 11:00 am.The topic:

Can your attitude really influence your physical health? Research in the new specialty of Health Psychology shows that it can. But how? Studies show that how we think has a strong effect on our immune system and other physioligcal processes that affect overall health and well-being, our recovery from surgery, as well as how long we live. Dr. Klaybor will discuss the influence of optimism and positive thinking on brain development, happiness and physical health, then show attendees how to harness this knowledge and use it in their every day lives. We may not yet be able to eliminate medical conditions using Mind Medicine, but improving the quality and length of life is possible right now.

This lecture is interactive, fun, and experiential. Professionals can receive CEUs or friends and family can attend. Please pass the word. The talk is at the United Way at 50 Waugh Drive, from 11:00 am to 1:00 pm. A box lunch is provided for $5.00. For professionals, the cost is $18.00 for the CEUs.