Is it Safe to Fly?

Let's find out if it is safe to fly. This may be hard to believe, but each day in the world, according to Travel and Media, there are approximately 102,465 flights per day. Take a look at the graphic of the US on the number of flights happening daily. Astounding!!!!! Especially when you consider how few accidents actually happen to those who fly. Are you grounded when it comes to enjoying your life due to fear of flying? With the recent lost planes and crashes, it is hard to escape some worry and anticipation about the safety of flight. Anxiety can make your world smaller and smaller because you begin to avoid vacations, business trips and now develop anticipatory anxiety about even thinking abut something bad happening. So you avoid what seems like too great a risk or fear laden. Last week a client came in saying, "I don't want to fly because ,I am afraid to die." Fear of death is only one of many reasons people become phobic of flying. My contention is that the real fear is of really living or letting go. What is there to do?
What many people do is avoid flying or use alcohol to self-medicate away the anxiety. There are much better methods. Logic and understanding the engineering of how a airplane flies doesn't typically provide much comfort, because flying phobia is an emotional problem. The Amygdala in the brain, an almond sized organ in the middle of your brain is actually the "fight or flight" center releasing stress hormones causing dizziness, nausea, sweating, shaking and typical stress response reactions. The good news is, anxiety and panic are very fixable. problems with Cognitive Behavioral Techniques (CBT) of thought stopping, reframing, relaxation, proper diaphragmatic techniques, mental imagery and relaxation training. These techniques can minimally create calm, confidence and comfort with practice. Desensitization to the fear triggers helps minimize the anxiety. You can learn to relax and fly comfortably. Retraining your brain is possible to open up your life to feel free again.

4 Agreements to Live By

These Four Agreements are meant to be taken as guidelines to live by for a life of integrity to do your best, no matter what happens. If you can learn to stop the negative self-talk, quit being self-critical and hard on yourself, you stand a much better chance of being happy and enjoying your life. This is a "practical guide to personal freedom," according to the author, Don Miguel Ruiz.

Ruiz states that the agreements you tell yourself determines who you are, what you feel, what you believe and how to behave. This becomes your personality. In these agreements, you say, "This is what I am. This is what I believe, I can do certain things and some things I cannot do. This is reality, that is fantasy; This is possible, that is impossible. " Open your mind to becoming more than you imagined by internalizing the Four Agreements into your daily life. As you practice these principles, monitor your happiness, mindfulness and ability to feel good about yourself. In Positive Psychology, one of the main tenets is to focus on a person's strengths and build upon them. However, many people focus on their failures, mistakes, weaknesses which only makes you feel worse. Leave behind negativity and find the optimist within. Stay in the moment, focus on strengths and have more fun.
Link to the Book

Casualties of Bad Bosses

In my coaching and psychotherapy practice, I frequently see employees that are demoralized by their working environment. Particularly, by their manager or supervisor. Typically, the feelings of lack of worth, value, recognition and validation are the most common complaints. So, what is really the problem? What is going on that many employees feel so bad about their workplace? It may be time to take a look at your current situation. A manager that doesn't have boundaries expects you to be available to work nights and weekends, is a micromanager, has such high expectations that you can't possibly meet them creates dissatisfaction in the workplace. Consequently, you can become so stressed, feel so disenchanted that your productivity falls. Once you psychologically disconnect, it may be difficult to get up in the morning to go to work, enjoy the workplace or even eventually cause you to quit. Take a look at the qualities described on the Good Boss/Bad Boss list. Once you better understand what you are up against, you can plan some strategies to manage your situation. 
These statistics are rather unsettling. Nearly half of employees believe their boss is unreasonable. What not to do? 
  1. Be passive
  2. Be defensive
  3. Be quiet about your unhappiness
  4. Gossip
  5. Complain
What to do!
  1. Be positive
  2. Focus on alignment with your boss
  3. Communicate your needs
  4. Ask for feedback
  5. Get a mentor
  6. Do not tolerate Bullying
  7. Keep incident records of problem behavior
  8. Get coaching
  9. Talk with your EAP
If the situation is impossible, you are miserable, you will have to find a way to leave the department or the company. Some corporate cultures are better than others. Change is difficult, but inevitable, so embrace it. Take change of yourself by getting more training, certifications, education to help improve the quality of your life.

Chronic Pain & Painkiller Addiction in the Workplace


On Tuesday June 9th, I will be conducting a presentation on problems of pain & addiction in the workplace at the Houston Chapter of the Employee Assistance Professionals monthly meeting. The problem of prescription painkillers has grown to become the most prominent addiction problem in the United States. As you would expect, the source is from complications associated with controlling chronic pain. If you would like to attend, just show up at 303 Jackson Hill at The Council on Recovery. 
Click on this link for details.  Houston Chapter of EAPA