Saturday, February 21, 2015

What Enhances Performance?

Athletes develop mental toughness with a variety of specific positive psychology techniques. Take a moment to consider adopting some of the following strategies to improve your performance at work, public speaking, your marriage, as a parent, musician or athlete. Borrowing from Sports Psychology elements, you can achieve anything you put your mind to. Take a moment to review these 7 dimensions that can transform you. Once you have your purpose, meaning and goals, you can use these principles to make them a reality.
1) They develop empowering and successful beliefs
Olympic athletes believe they can be, do or have anything they want in life. They change attitudes and create habits, which help them in making them world-class performers. They reprogram or recondition their mind for achieving gold medal(s). Unlike most of us, they are not controlled by their fears. They challenge ideas and opinions, rather than just accept them as fact.
2) They know thoughts become reality
They take responsibility of what they dwell on in their mind. They consciously choose to focus on successful, healthy and happy thoughts. They think big unlike majority of people who think about just getting by. They are aware of the fact that what they repeat in their mind will become a belief and affect their success/performance. Their actions are congruent with their thought processes.
3) They understand the power of emotions
They know managing emotions is crucial for achieving success. Thoughts and beliefs trigger emotions so they make sure they have positive and fruitful thoughts as much as possible. They do things which make them feel content and proud. They motivate themselves by emotions related to their dreams and passion rather than by just money and/or fame. They have the ability to put aside anything else going on at that very moment and focus only on the task in front of them.
4) They have coaches and mentors. They are ever-ready learners
They believe in working smarter so they learn from the mentors or role-models that are the best in their fields which also helps them accelerate their performance. Unlike an average person, they invest time, money and energy in getting better. For them failure is an opportunity to learn and grow. They spend hours practicing, studying their competitors, watching videos of their performances and session after session with their coaches/mentors. Champions are known for being open to world-class coaching.
5) An unfailing attitude to win (succeed)
They are determined to win whatever it takes. They are, mentally, prepared to pay the price and to stay committed no matter how much burden and fear they feel inside.
Olympians are fearless and focused on manifesting their ultimate dream of bringing home the gold.
6) They have a clear purpose/vision
They have a very clear mental picture of what they want, why they want it and how to move closer to their target objective. They spend time on setting goals and creating action plans which will help them achieve their dream. They are bold and daring visionaries. Their accountability is measured very often unlike a common man who has no system in place for it.
7) They expect adversity and failure

They are driven to succeed, but unlike the majority they don’t avoid mistakes, risks or failure. They don’t seek security or comfort. They are criticized but are persistent. They choose discipline over pleasure. Unlike others they don’t believe that compensation should instantly follow any effort. They know it can take years to manifest their ultimate vision/dream.

Thursday, February 12, 2015

36 Questions: Formula for Falling in Love

Arthur Aron of the Interpersonal Relationships Lab at Stony Brook University in New York, who published his results in "The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness" in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin (1997). You can try these questions with a date, but they're not necessarily only applicable to fostering romance. You can also try them with people you already know well—friends, family members, even long-term partners—to deepen your ties. Why not give these a try to enhance intimacy & love in your life.

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?3. Before making a phone call, do you ever rehearse what you're going to say? Why?4. What would constitute a perfect day for you?5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you choose?7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?11. Take four minutes and tell you partner your life story in as much detail as possible.12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one quality or ability, what would it be?13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?14. Is there something that you've dreamt of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?16. What do you value most in a friendship?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
18. What is your most terrible memory?19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?20. What does friendship mean to you?21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people's?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?25. Make three true "we" statements each. For instance, "we are both in this room feeling..."26. Complete this sentence "I wish I had someone with whom I could share..."27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.28. Tell your partner what you like about them: be honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you've just met.29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner's advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
... and a few variations:
    If you could choose the sex and physical appearance of your soon-to-be-born child, would you do it?
    Would you be willing to have horrible nightmares for a year if you would be rewarded with extraordinary wealth?

While on a trip to another city, your spouse/lover meets and spends a night with an exciting stranger. Given that they will never meet again, and could never otherwise learn of the incident, would you want your partner to tell you about it?

Why Worry? Recently, a reprint of the book  Why Worry  by friend and prolific author, Eric A. Kimmel was recently released. Gayle and ...