Friday, May 21, 2010

Study: Psychotherapy Can Boost Happiness More Than Money | US News & World Report | November 18, 2009

"Researchers analyzed data on thousands of people who provided information about their mental well-being and found that the increase in happiness from a $1,329 course of therapy was so significant that it would take a pay raise of more than $41,542 to achieve an equal boost in well-being." It may be time for you to make an investment in your happiness.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Marital Aikido

In a book by Richard Moon, Aikido in Three Easy Lessons, he presents philosophy worth practicing to enhance your life and work, creativity and renewal. Aikido is the peaceful martial art that flows with energy or "goes with" movement, not against it. Imagine how useful this would be in a relationship to stop emotionally blocking and striking. Marital Aikido uses the concept of blending with rather than opposing energy. It emphasizes alignment of forces, not resistance.

The three lessons Moon proposes are:
1) Feel where you are.
2) Harmonious relationship.
3) Share who you are.

If you are in touch with your feelings, you will be more emotionally connected. If you are harmonious, you will move in concert with your partner. If you share, you will let yourself be seen and make a contribution.

A quote by the founders of Aikido, Morihei Ueshiba O Sensei says it best, "Aikido is not a technique to fight with or defeat the enemy. It is a way to reconcile the world and make human beings one family." Do some work to go with the resistance in your life to bring harmony and connection.

The 7 C’s of Successful Change

So, the National Nutrition Program of North Carolina has been publishing their ideas about taking charge of your health and your life. To make a change in your habits requires a greater understanding of how to get from where you are to where you want to be. Consider the following:
1. CARING—enough to treat your body well.
2. CHOICE—to take small steps in a new direction.
3. CREATIVITY—to find a variety of food and fitness options.
4. COURAGE—for new adventures and everyday challenges.
5. COMFORT—through tough times with relaxation (even pampering).
6. CONFIDENCE—to take risks and to make normal mistakes.
7. CELEBRATION—of the progress toward a strong and healthier you.
So in summary, eat smart, move more, stay social, have fun and affirm yourself. Good things are bound to happen.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

5 Languages of Love from the Book by Gary Chapman

I highly recommend you check out the 5 Languages of Love book by Chapman. These concepts are very profound in their simplicity. Have a conversation with your partner about these 5 languages and determine what you like and need the most and find out the same from your partner. This can create a bridge of understanding and greater love in your life. Here they are:

Words of Affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.
Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.
Receiving Gifts
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.
Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.
Physical Touch
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

Now go practice!

Monday, May 10, 2010


“Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle: some things are within our control and some things are not. It is only after you have accepted this fundamental rule and learned to distinguish between what you can and cannot control, that inner tranquility and outer effectiveness become possible.” Epictetus (50-183 AD)

It is always a good idea to focus on what you can control and let go of what you cannot control. This will help with the tranquility Epictetus describes in his quote.

I believe happiness is a result of having 3 things in your life;
  1. Meaning or purpose
  2. Engagement 
  3. Pleasure
How are you doing on these for your life?

Why Worry? Recently, a reprint of the book  Why Worry  by friend and prolific author, Eric A. Kimmel was recently released. Gayle and ...